Thanks Sin Siu..Thanks for everything you did..without u, there will never be the me today..Thanks for ALWAYS being there when i needed u..although i had treated u a rotten way (during Form 2), u never ceased to be my fren, my soul, my diary, my teacher, my guardian, my angel, my everything..they say ppl whom u met in life will never leave ur life without leaving a footmark..if tat's true, u're the one who has the deepest mark in my life..through ur own ways knowingly or unknowingly, u taught me things tat can never be taught in schools..through ur little ways, u showed ur care in bundles..u are the only one who noes me so thoroughly tat sometimes it surprises me..even before i speak, u noe wat i'm going to say..in you, i found my perfect fren..and because of you, i hope to be, in turn, your perfect fren..thank you once again, my fren, the BEST i've ever had..
The Power of Words
Just realised how powerful words can be..be it spoken or written..by choosing ur words carefully,not only can u convey ur msg across, u can HURT or WARMTH others' heart depending on ur own will..to be able to do tat, u must of course be well equipped with vocabulary of tat particular language..
A certain msg can be conveyed very tactfully..so tat the recipients are protected from the 'sharpness' of the words..the SAME msg can be conveyed less tactfully..for those weak-hearted beware!!this also goes to show the beauty of words (and also the skills of the user)..some words when used alone seems dull and unprovocative..but when used together, it can touched other ppl's life, hurt them and evoked many more complex emotions..
Guess it's time for me to honed my skills..skill in using words, skill in communicating etc..i wonder how many hearts have i touched jus by using words?certainly less than those i've heard..yes..unfortunately i belonged to the group of people who can 'kill' people using just my tounge (pls dun think dirty)..but i believed tat i'm getting better nowadays..and one of my aims is to be able to touched ppl's life with the same tounge which was used to hurt ppl bfore..
As usual, it's always easier to be a bad person than a good person..found it extremely hard to achieved my aims..for once, in my entire life, i feel like being quiet..so tat i can neither do harm nor good..
Answers..And More Questions..
It's been quite a while since i last blog..hehehe..basically is tat i'm lazy to blog and i dun find the need to blog..cos Elyne has got most of the stuff in her blog ad..so why repeat??(in other words i lazy lar..hehe)
Refering back to the old blog on my search for my identity, i believe i've found out who am i..i am a chameleon..yes a chameleon..a very good one too..i'm capable of blending myself to diff situations and surroundings..hence the huge variety in my character n attitude..i'm SO good tat even i myself am confused..as to which is the 'REAL' me..
Then i realised tat everything i protrayed is the real me..i change my opinions on sth n my taste etc so quick tat at times even i myself find it hard to adapt..i jus cant help it..it occured naturally and almost spontaneously..and there's no stopping to it..so pls dun find me weird..so i guess my frens would haf to accomodate n tolerate wif me..so pls..jus accept me as who i am..
Been having some problems lately..which reminds me of a fren who used to think tat i dun mean wat i say cos i kept changing..sigh..i guess the best answer to it is tat my character n attitude is those which is prone to changes like the skin of the chameleon is prone to changing colour to adapt to its surrounding..i meant wat i said..at tat time..i jus cant guarantee to u if things will changed in future o not..
If u're thinking tat i've received a huge blow from someone recently which inspires me to write this, then i'm sorry to say tat u're wrong..been thinking a LOT bout it since i last blog it (pls refer to Feb 7 entry)..finally found an answer to it during Chinese New Year..i guessed tat's explain why this year i din really have the mood to celebrate new year as i was deep in thinking bout this..sigh so deep was the thinking tat even my Bro can sense tat something is very wrong wif me..but then again my Bro knew me well to know tat sth was not rite..
Ok..enuff of my chameleon-like-character..was quite sad today as i think i messed up ppl's relationship..although both parties din actually blame me..but i think i'm partly at fault..guess i interfere too much or interfere at the wrong time and wrong way..let's jus hope tat everything will be fine again..cos if not, i'll never forgive myself for wat i did..but then again, i may forget all about it tomolo..judging from my short-term memory..which is getting worse each day..sigh
sad..sad..sad cos i messed up too much..sad cos my best fren's mum is sick..she's been sick for quite some time..i think..hehe..(hope i din messed up wif the details)..she's having stomach pain..or was it abdominal pain..or does both terms mean the same??i'm not sure..all i noe is tat she's suffering from pain n she refused to see doc..so sad..and worried..cos she's like my mum to me too..i'm worried for her and yet there's nothing i could do..all i can do is to pray for her n hoped tat she's ok..
Happy Valentine's Day
its been overall a HAPPY day for me today..hehehe..basically cos i won quite a lot tonight when i was at Ai Lynn's place..hehehe..secondly is cos i found out today i lose weight..due to my sickness i guess..hehehe..hope to maintain this weight for now..hehehe..ok lar that's all for now..for those deeply in love..and those single out there (like me) :
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!
Who Am I??
forgot wat exactly triggered me to write this..but somehow i've been thinking who exactly am i??in other words i think i'm going thru the process which some of u had been thru before..i'm SEARCHING for my identity..i dunno who exactly am i..sounds weird huh?maybe..dunno wat sparked off..maybe a conversation between a fren..maybe is due to the events on few days back..but wat i realised is tat this has been an issue for a long time..jus tat i've been ignoring it for quite some time..since it's New Year soon, i guess it'll be better for me to 'selesaikan' it now..hehe..i guess i'm not those who can adapt to changes tat well gua..hehe..esp changes in me emotionally and mentally..sigh..i'm so confused to a certain stage tat i dunno who to continue this anymore..maybe when i've figured out a better way to express my thoughts thru words then i'll continue..for now all i wan to say is:
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
Is Everything Fated??
Was reading this book by Agatha Christie; titled Three Act Tragedy, and this paragraph caught my attention..it's potrayed in a different way..but in my opinion it's similiar to wat my M'sian Studies lecturer was telling us on Thurs..here's the whole paragraph which i quoted from the book:
Events come to people - not people to events.Why do some people have exciting lives while other people have dull ones?Because of their surroundings?Not at all.One man may travel to the ends of theearth and nothing will happen to him.there will be a massacre a week before he arrives,and an earthquake the day after he leaves, and the boat that he nearly took will be shipwrecked. and another man may live at Balham and travel to the City everyday, and things will happen to him. he will be mixed up with blackmailing gangs and beautiful girls and motor bandits. There are people with the tendency to shipwrecks - even if they go on an ornamental lake something will happen to it. In the same way men like your Hercule Poirot don't have to look for crime - it comes to them.
my M'sian Studies lecturer was pointing out the fact tat some people live a very smooth life where they always do the right thing at the right time and at the right place..Lady Luck seems to be smilling at them ALL the time..where as some people live a rotten life..watever they do seemed to be a failure..they do things at the wrong time at the wrong place..
if you fall into the category where things dun always worked the wat u wan it, fret not..Acc to the lecturer, God gave us two hands..one is fated to live the life u're destined to live..the other is for u to change ur destiny..some things are fated..others can be changed..so start changing ur life now..and STOP being pessimistic anymore..if you wanna change the way ppl treat u then change the way u think NOW..
HeLp!!
sigh..wanted to change the template of my blog to red/pink colour in conjunction of CNY..too bad.i dunno how..really feel like a technology idiot..hehe..so if any of u who read this pls help 'enlighten' me..thanks..
Friends...
Found this in my thumb drive..think i forgot to post it..even though some of the sentences does not stand true now, most of it still are..tat's y i decided to post it even though some may get offended after reading..hehe..so here goes..
Friends…What it REALLY means…
There’s no actual definition for the word friends.. Different people may have different concepts or opinion towards this particular word.. if u disagree wif my opinion, it’s ok, cos it only proves tat u are just another human, like me.. please take note tat these comments may not be true during later part of my life as my feelings and opinion fluctuates at every second of my life.. another thing I would like to warn viewers that this particular blog and those coming up may not be ur liking.. For this particular page I would like to comment on some of the meaning for FRIENDS (sorry if this sounds a bit formal..this is wat I call post-project syndrome..)
I used to feel that friends should not have any secrets between them.. Those who noe me well enough can verify that.. now, I feel that this definition cannot define the word FRIENDS thoroughly.. firstly, who on earth can have NO secrets at all.. A person wif no secrets, I’m sorry to say, haf no personality at all.. Look no further I was one of them.. I thought that by telling all my frens about how I feel towards them etc would help strengthen our relationship.. but I was WRONG.. utterly wrong.. Being straightforward may be good in some cases but the people today, including me, do not like to hear criticism from their frens although it’s TRUE.. once u hurt their feelings by being straightforward, be prepared to be ‘pulaukan’ by them for simple reasons like u’re not sensitive enough or u never filter ur thoughts etc.. other ideology includes that frens should be tolerant to each other and accept their weaknesses.. this brings us to my next point..
Many of us today feels that frens should be tolerant and accept each other’s weaknesses.. this like one of my previous definition of friends is another example of human’s utopia.. if this definition is true and everyone follows wat it says, there should be no discord among frens.. almost everyday at any corner of the world, frens, ranging from best frens, old frens, new frens etc, fall out among each other.. this will be the foundation of the typical gossips, backstabbing and all the ugly side of human.. remember, everyone is not perfect and everyone has the freedom to speak his/her mind.. having said tat, I don’t mean that I approve of ppl slandering each other.. although I despised backstabbers, we all must agree to an extend that the mouth is theirs..therefore they are free to make any comments, be it good or bad, about people and we have no right to interfere.. oops.. just figure out that I’ve side tracked a bit.. well back to our topic.. no one in this world can be 100% tolerant to one another and accept each other’s weaknesses and fault 100%.. not EVEN our parents.. from time to time there will be tiny little disagreements among friends.. if tolerance and acceptance is achieved 100%, will all this disagreements occur in the first place? How many of us actually saw friends around us become foes just because of a storm in a teacup? Because there’s no 100% tolerance and acceptance among humans (and it WILL NEVER be one except in ur dreams), small disagreements will end up to be big disagreements.. people who kept on insisting tat frens should be tolerant to each to other shortcomings may be THE one who make a big ‘hoo-ha’ about small matters like difference in opinions..
Finally, I think the best type of frens are those who trust u and from time to time have little disagreements wif u to entertain u towards ur ‘long’ journey through life.. I’m lucky to found a few of these frens.. but sadly to say, I’m far from being the ‘best’ type of frens..
Those who hates me to the core after finish reading this blog, all I can say is that I HAVE warned u.. so dun blame me, blame urself for being curious..
Ps: for those who feels tat frens should be 100% tolerant and accepting 100% of other people’s short coming, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, make any comments.. I dun wan to be ur excuse of breaking ur utopian definition of friends.. for those who beg to differ, pls feel free to comment about this blog.. Remember u are free to speak ur mind here..
Friends…What it REALLY means…
There’s no actual definition for the word friends.. Different people may have different concepts or opinion towards this particular word.. if u disagree wif my opinion, it’s ok, cos it only proves tat u are just another human, like me.. please take note tat these comments may not be true during later part of my life as my feelings and opinion fluctuates at every second of my life.. another thing I would like to warn viewers that this particular blog and those coming up may not be ur liking.. For this particular page I would like to comment on some of the meaning for FRIENDS (sorry if this sounds a bit formal..this is wat I call post-project syndrome..)
I used to feel that friends should not have any secrets between them.. Those who noe me well enough can verify that.. now, I feel that this definition cannot define the word FRIENDS thoroughly.. firstly, who on earth can have NO secrets at all.. A person wif no secrets, I’m sorry to say, haf no personality at all.. Look no further I was one of them.. I thought that by telling all my frens about how I feel towards them etc would help strengthen our relationship.. but I was WRONG.. utterly wrong.. Being straightforward may be good in some cases but the people today, including me, do not like to hear criticism from their frens although it’s TRUE.. once u hurt their feelings by being straightforward, be prepared to be ‘pulaukan’ by them for simple reasons like u’re not sensitive enough or u never filter ur thoughts etc.. other ideology includes that frens should be tolerant to each other and accept their weaknesses.. this brings us to my next point..
Many of us today feels that frens should be tolerant and accept each other’s weaknesses.. this like one of my previous definition of friends is another example of human’s utopia.. if this definition is true and everyone follows wat it says, there should be no discord among frens.. almost everyday at any corner of the world, frens, ranging from best frens, old frens, new frens etc, fall out among each other.. this will be the foundation of the typical gossips, backstabbing and all the ugly side of human.. remember, everyone is not perfect and everyone has the freedom to speak his/her mind.. having said tat, I don’t mean that I approve of ppl slandering each other.. although I despised backstabbers, we all must agree to an extend that the mouth is theirs..therefore they are free to make any comments, be it good or bad, about people and we have no right to interfere.. oops.. just figure out that I’ve side tracked a bit.. well back to our topic.. no one in this world can be 100% tolerant to one another and accept each other’s weaknesses and fault 100%.. not EVEN our parents.. from time to time there will be tiny little disagreements among friends.. if tolerance and acceptance is achieved 100%, will all this disagreements occur in the first place? How many of us actually saw friends around us become foes just because of a storm in a teacup? Because there’s no 100% tolerance and acceptance among humans (and it WILL NEVER be one except in ur dreams), small disagreements will end up to be big disagreements.. people who kept on insisting tat frens should be tolerant to each to other shortcomings may be THE one who make a big ‘hoo-ha’ about small matters like difference in opinions..
Finally, I think the best type of frens are those who trust u and from time to time have little disagreements wif u to entertain u towards ur ‘long’ journey through life.. I’m lucky to found a few of these frens.. but sadly to say, I’m far from being the ‘best’ type of frens..
Those who hates me to the core after finish reading this blog, all I can say is that I HAVE warned u.. so dun blame me, blame urself for being curious..
Ps: for those who feels tat frens should be 100% tolerant and accepting 100% of other people’s short coming, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, make any comments.. I dun wan to be ur excuse of breaking ur utopian definition of friends.. for those who beg to differ, pls feel free to comment about this blog.. Remember u are free to speak ur mind here..
It's Time...
Guess it's time for me to STOP being lazy..sigh..been pressured by friends from all corners to change over a new leaf..hehe..sounds weird i noe..but CHINESE NEW YEAR coming lar..haf to change..
New Year resolutions i guess..was quite surprised tat someone actually came and read my blog everyday..hehehe..well to my always loyal ai-ren..this blog is specially written for u as u're very anxious to noe bout my life here in IMU..
life's been so far so good..esp after the 'shark-pestering' incident..hehehe..nothing much happen soon after tat..except tat today's been an extremely BUSY day for me to catch up all tat i was lag behind all this while..hehe..erm.. basically woke up at ard 9 am n neno till 11 am only officially got up from bed..then went to bath at ard 12pm..while bathing half-way heard Dylan and Damiel's voices outside..seems tat my housemate let them in..neno wif them bfore meeting up wif Huey for lunch..came back at ard 1pm n start to clean and tidy my room like hell..went to Huey's place at ard 2.30pm..study my Biopharmacy there..
din help Agnes moved her stuff..sigh.. so guilty..but managed to revised finish wat i intended to do..slept for an hour or so before going to pasar malam wif Elyne n Huey..hehe..had great time there..walk back home cos couldn't find a taxi..but halfway Huey broke her slippers..so we got to take cab home..actually at tat time we're already very close to home..hehe..came back bath n online..tat was when i knew tat there's always someone who'll constantly go onine and view my blog..to this special friend who is also my dearest ai ren i thank you for ur constant support..i now know tat no distance can separate us..i'm constantly reminded tat i'll ALWAYS have a person to fall back on..
THANK YOU...
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